lilylark

Don't say "whatever" to me in that tone of voice, mother.

2008-07-14T17:57:45Z

I try to explain
but i talk in my head too often
and leave out words aloud.

you only listen to my first words
never the whole story
my facts are throughout
added and amended
as i realize where they go
but you are too slow
to see the whole picture
even after i've repeated
it fully and complete

why do you regress
to a childhood comeback
when you decide
to cease wanting to understand me?

is it because you work with children
that you act like one
in your dealings with me?

i talk calmly and slowly
(shouting never worked,
only upset me past breathing)
when i realize i've upset you
but you only become more spurned
thinking i'm treating you
as a child

you can't accept my choices
saying its only your opinion
but why do you not see mine
and think i'm in the wrong?

you ask
why can't we have a pleasant day together?
i thought we had a nice time
why does one conversation
spoil the day?

wish for rain

2008-01-22T15:44:14Z

I used to hate the rain
when i was back in high school
working at the movie theater

being called in on a rainy day
a guarantee for a long day
and worry over parking in the right spot

Last year my car flooded
from driving in the rain
and i still cringe
when driving past the unlikely spot

i only liked the rain
when i'd be home
and safe

but now i wait for the rain
i don't worry
that i can't wear my suede boots
i only hope for it to rain in the morning
so that I you may have the day off
and i can see you for lunch

interest

2008-01-10T07:49:38Z

Cruisin round the net
I see possibilities
that give me the itch
to research.

your tag line interests me
but your likes are strange
so i must investigate

put to the test
and i leave the rest
to experience your best

Descendents, Narcissus and Goldmund
and I already know Kubrick
This could be interesting to
discuss

forever uninvited

2007-12-31T17:35:20Z

Say you don't like
don't keep it inside
say it looks like crap
when it looks like crap

keep it on the outside
on your face
through your body talk
let it shine
your displeasure

don't hold back
give them it all
don't whisper
speak normal

put on that angry face
the displeasure radiates
explodes from you
as you fight with your words
the only concession
is the lack of curses

yes, you annoy
this is how you show
a lack of manners

brief

2007-12-30T06:16:35Z

he doesn't seem to care
apathetic to the core
randomly says a line
and then just says ok
when i declaim him

says he cares
but all he says is ok
just asks for me to come to him
why should i bend for him
when i want to break a branch

no fight
no pluck
doesn't even acknowledge feeling
numb, the bum

no call

2007-12-30T05:23:22Z

i want to see you
the good you
the one i adore
and enjoy the same things with

but i don't want to be there
don't want to see you
lying there
prone
disgusting
on the floor

lies heap all around you
stinking
dripping off the coffee table
crushed under your body
and you shift in your sleep
blanketed with lies

i want to see your humor
your delight in a flowering tea
i want to cuddle next to you
not your lies and your limp spaghetti

wanting is one thing,
saying is another, and
doing is the last

i don't know if i hope for change
or if i hope to end it all
give up
or
stay and hope

caught

2007-12-27T23:08:28Z

I'm caught
She sees only red
Only pain
I hurried along
Thought my message was received
Only to be sidetracked
Thrown off rail
Fixed one fence
But never mended the other
Never thought the problem
Was that large
Seriously thought it would be fine
Why is all I can say
Why do u hate me
For not wanting to hang as a group